Ask Allie: How Can I Balance My Cheerleading and Non-Cheerleading Friends?

Dear Allie: I am new to cheerleading. With my commitment to the trainings and attendance of games on top of demands from teachers and parents, I feel like there are not enough hours in the day. Cheerleading is great because my fellow squad members and I have become close friends and have a lot of fun. My old friends though are started to complain. They say that I am missing out on special events and am not there for them like I was in the past. I don’t want them to feel bad. I love them too and we also have a good time together. With all of my commitments, how do I spend time with my cheerleading friends and my old friends?

-CheerChamp,

Dear CheerChamp,

I am glad that you are concerned about them. New friends are not necessarily better than the old. This is not an easy question to answer. Lots of athletes have a difficult time trying to do it all. Some are working, studying in high level courses and doing whatever they can to get into a desirable college or university. In addition, they have to please parents, do chores at home and attend family commitments. You should be feeling spread a bit thin. It’s totally normal at this period of time. You don’t have to give up old friends for the new squad but find a way to balance your commitments in general. I hope that these suggestions can held guide you:

1. Talk with your friends, acknowledge their feelings and explain your situation. “I know that you feel like I haven’t been around as much. You are right. I want to spend more time with you but with the season and all, plus school and everything else, I don’t have much free time. I love you and you are important to me.”

2. Set a special time aside for them. For example, “I have a few hours next Sunday. Let’s hit the mall and you can tell me all about your new crush. It’s been forever and I miss you.” Make sure to follow-through on what you say.

3. If you can’t be there because of a game, remember them. Call, text or email to communicate with them that day. Set aside another time if possible, to celebrate in person. It is always possible to send a little gift to them while doing a bit of online shopping. Let them know that you are thinking of them.

4. Look at your schedule in general for ways to free up more time. Create a chart of your activities for the week and how much time is spent on them each day. Now, is it possible to:

• Cut some time spent relaxing or combine that with socializing?

• Ask parents to remove a chore or two describing your situation with friends they already know?

• Combine activities or errands to spend less time on them in general and the drive there and back?

• Remove an activity or two that aren’t priorities at this time? It is better to do fewer things well and give yourself time to recharge.

Take these suggestions and you’ll feel reconnected with your girls in no time!