Ask Allie: How do I handle mean girls at competitions?

Dear Allie, Lately at competitions, I've been noticing girls from other squads giving me and my team dirty looks. How do I handle mean girls at competitions? Sincerely, Cheerleader Dear Cheerleader, I’m so sorry you have had to encounter mean girls. Cheerleading competition is a lot like life. Whenever there are a lot a strong personalities under one roof to compete against one another, there are bound to be some unfriendly ones every now and then. Learning how to deal with that mean varsity cheerleader at competition is a skill you will take with you as you work on group projects in class, grow up and go to college and throughout your professional career. First, take comfort in knowing that your value as a human being is independent from the opinions and judgments of others. Who they perceive you to be doesn’t change who you actually are. Stay confident in yourself and your skills as a cheerleader, and never let another person cause you to question who you are. Secondly, never forget that you have no responsibility for anyone’s behavior except for yours. While you can’t prevent nasty looks and glares from another cheerleader, you can control your response. Make it a goal to leave every interaction feeling proud of your response. Refuse to return the ugliness and hate – it will cause you guilt and remorse later, and could potentially escalate the situation. What do you feel has driven her to be so mean? It's most likely the fact that she views you and your squad as competition, and feels threatened by your skills. Maybe this cheerleader watched your squad as you flawlessly executed your routine. As a result, she feels nervous and begins to doubt her own talent and skills. Mean behavior is often the result of insecurity. Try to detach yourself from your hurt feelings and view the situation from a distance. Think about how nervous you may get before you perform in front of the judges, and try to see the situation from this mean cheerleader's point of view. Finally – and most importantly – if you respond, kill her with kindness, as the saying goes. The single best response to bullying is kindness. Say hello with a genuine smile every time you see her. Don’t gossip about her behind her, her team or her behavior behind her back. With this advice, you can overcome the mean girls so you and your cheerleading squad can nail your routine and bring home that trophy! Sincerely, Allie